Wow... this is going to be a whole new thing for me....I have never really shared or written down how I've been feeling or the things that I've been going through before... I guess it's worth a shot.
For anyone who is going to read this, I will start at the beginning (So unfortunately it is going to be a bit long). First of all, I have the most amazing 5 year old boy from a previous relationship, he and my husband are my life. Anyway, my husband and I met in August 2004 (when my son was 8 months old). We talked on and off and eventually started "dating" January 21, 2005. Everything was going perfect, and we knew we were right for one another, so about a year into our relationship, we started talking about having a baby so that the age gap in between children wouldn't be so big. After talking about it and realizing that we were on the same page, and KNOWING, that we were meant for each other, we decided that since we were so young (we were 19), we should wait just a little longer and then go ahead with it.
March of 2007 is when we really started trying. Up until that point, I had been using the IUD "Mirena". I will NEVER recommend this to ANYONE as long as I live! I truely believe it is what messed me up to begin with! In any case, when we decided to go for it, I had the IUD removed around the middle of March, assuming that it was going to take a month or 2 for things to go back to normal (even though my doctor assured me everything would be back to normal immediately). The pain started when the IUD came out. I bled for 2 weeks striaght, and not just light bleeding, I was soaking through pad after pad after pad, and there was NO stopping it. Fear kicked in and I went to the emergency room hoping they could either make it stop or tell me that it was normal after having the IUD removed. Unfortunately, they didn't know what was causing it but said that I was going to be fine and that if it continued more than another week to go and see my doctor. Well, eventually it did stop, and that was when we started. I was determined to get pregnant quickly, just like I had the first time.
The excitement started and it was like we were in a whole new relationship. We had a new appreciation for one another. We charted following my BBT and CM and OPK's... and yet months later - NOTHING! I was surprised because I expected it to happen right away. One thing I did notice was that, before the IUD, my cycles were regular, every 31-33 days, and now they were sometimes lasting 60-70 days or I was getting a period every 2 weeks. I went back to the doctor who then referred me to an OB-GYN.
The OB-GYN ran all kinds of tests on me and everything came back normal. I started to think it may have just been stress. At this point it was January of 2008 and I was planning our wedding for March of the same year. So I started to think that maybe TTC while planning the wedding was too much. All the Gyno said was "You're not ovulating." No kidding! I had kind of figured that out on my own already! Anyway, he put me on 50mg of Clomid days 5-9 for 2 cycles and it seemed to help a little bit with bringing the length of my cycles down, but still, no positive result other than that.
A few months later, we moved to a different city about 2 hours away from my doctor. I didn't want to be driving back and forth all the time just to see him, especially not in the winter with my son in the vehicle. I begged and pleaded until he finally agreed to refer me to a gyno a little closer to where I am living now, but unfortunately I had to wait 4 months to get in to see her, and he wouldn't continue with treatment in the meantime - so we had to try again naturally for the next little while.
When I finally did get in to see her in November 2008, it was an eye-opener. She ran SOO many more tests and told me that the previous doctor should have been running bloodwork every month while I was taking the clomid and that he should have been following up with me a lot better than he was. So, immediately I felt relief, thinking "This is finally it! I am with a good doctor who is going to take care of me and help me get pregnant!" She did and HSG (hysterosalpingogram) on me, which came back clear, nothing was blocked. She put me on clomid to start Nov. 22 and I left the office happy.
Unfortunately, that cycle was the longest I had seen in a long time. That cycle lasted 54 days, and after several blood tests and determining that I hadn't ovulated and wasn't pregnant, she perscribed me Provera to bring on a new cycle. I ended up not taking the provera because I was scheduled to have my Wisdom teeth surgically removed on Jan 15th, and be completely put out (It was already Jan 6th), so I figured there was no point in starting it yet, I would wait until after the surgery and then go ahead and start it.
Lucky me, good old AF showed up Jan. 11, so I didn't end up needing the provera at all, but hubby and I decided to wait a month for the clomid. We knew my mouth was going to be killing me from having the 4 teeth taken out, and that I wasn't going to feel like being very intimate.
So here we are, CD 10 and I feel so bad for not taking the clomid this month. And not only that, I haven't been temping or paying attention to anything this month! I am supposed to be going in 5 days after temp. rise to get my Progesterone level taken, but think I will be passing that up too this month. Maybe we just need a cycle to relax and not be thinking about it... but really, do we ever stop hoping/thinking about it...?
